WOMAN STANDS BEFORE A STEEL TOWER
A.Byss 2026 - excerpts
Dark outside. Someone pull up a chair for her. She was there for eight hours. Someone pull up a chair for her, she is tired, drenched in something invisible.
of course I’m grateful
for the masses you’ve salvaged
from the premature moonrise
Heart attacks, overdoses,
made 'alright' again
flickering brains surfaced
with lights & machines
breaching from depths unknown
dropped on the shore of familiar burdens
with a wet thud of miracle
& a peculiar taste in the mouth.
Visions of Guadalupe
wafting through linoleum stairwells
leaving a pink glow trail
the smell of sweet beeswax
Of course I’m grateful for all this
do I even need to say it?
But doctor her lips were white, eyes like caves. Her body seems to absorb light, cloaked in a sopping shroud, life eating itself. What’s that called again? Autoimmune? A star inhales itself into an unknown, inner field.
what was recorded / what stained your opinion / were you tired / were you distracted / what didn't you see
I was wiping the countertop and putting sweetcorn into a Tupperware as her whole body drew stories of
diagnosis / insomnia / ptsd / dismissal / family / art therapy / professionals
“Why the f*ck am I taking three different antidepressants?”
She had to get herself on the waiting list of a third professional
to decipher who was right: doctor or psychiatrist
Testifying to congress
against the father of her kids:
blue-purple-yellow reality
coated Her Body of Evidence
still a lawyer spun webs
round the obvious situation
Later, she spoke of freeing
the fury she had hoarded:
at the pool, swimming laps
it expelled in brilliant light
Later yet, having scaled
many further mountains,
she spoke of delivering it all
to the doctors’ golden pen.
“Low Mood Disorder”
(he said and he wrote.)
this isn't the kind of thing you can get with money or temper tantrums
I am clearing my interior with explosions and wildfires. I learn there is no demise
but opening. now my blood soaked land can bear your contradictions
give me another lesson in choosing my own selfhood
in trying to kill me you are teaching me how to survive
and since there are many predators I am discovering many ways